Forbidden love

The air in the Survey Corps headquarters always smelled of old stone, damp earth, and the sharp, antiseptic scent of the cleaning supplies Levi used to keep the encroaching filth at bay. It was a sterile sanctuary, a fortress built on the edge of extinction. But inside the Commander’s office, behind a heavy oak door that remained locked well past midnight, the air smelled of something else: expensive tobacco, old parchment, and the heat radiating from Erwin Smith’s skin.

Levi sat on the edge of the mahogany desk, his boots polished to a mirror shine, watching the man who led the hopes of humanity. Erwin was hunched over a map, his thick, golden eyebrows furrowed in concentration. To the world, he was the indomitable wall that stood between the people of the walls and the nightmare beyond. To Levi, he was a walking contradiction—a man who preached the salvation of the Eldian race while harboring a secret that would see him executed by his own soldiers before sunrise.

"You’re staring, Levi," Erwin said, his voice a low rumble that vibrated in the small space. He didn't look up from the map, but a ghost of a smile tugged at the corner of his mouth.

"I'm wondering how much longer you can keep that mask from cracking," Levi replied, his tone flat, though his gray eyes softened. "The scouts are getting restless. They see the way you look at the horizon. It’s not the look of a man searching for Titans. It’s the look of a man looking for home."

Erwin finally straightened, his tall, muscular frame casting a long shadow against the candlelight. He reached out, his large hand coming to rest on Levi’s knee. The touch was warm—unusually so. It was a heat that didn't belong to a normal human, a simmering furnace beneath the skin that Levi had learned to recognize as the mark of the Colossus.

"Home is a complicated concept," Erwin said softly. "Especially when you’ve spent your life pretending to be the enemy of your own people."

Levi scoffed, leaning back slightly. "Your 'people' sent you here to wipe us out, Erwin. They gave you the power of a god and told you to bring down the gates. Instead, you climbed the ranks and became the very thing they fear most: a leader who actually cares about the cattle inside the pen."

Erwin stepped closer, moving into the narrow space between Levi’s legs. He looked down, his icy blue eyes searching Levi’s expressionless face. "I didn't choose to care. That was a tactical error I made the moment I met a foul-mouthed brat in the underground who refused to die."

Levi reached up, grabbing Erwin’s collar and pulling him down until their foreheads touched. "Don't get sentimental on me. It’s disgusting. If the Military Police find out you’re a Marleyan shifter, they won't care about your tactical errors. They’ll string you up in the square."

"And what about you?" Erwin whispered, his breath hot against Levi’s lips. "You’ve known for two years. You’ve harbored a traitor, a monster. You’re just as guilty as I am."

"I’ve always been a criminal, Erwin. One more sin isn't going to keep me up at night."

Levi pulled him into a kiss, a desperate, silent collision that tasted of salt and the looming threat of the end. It was a forbidden thing, a bridge built over an abyss of war and blood. Every time they touched, Levi felt the thrum of the power within Erwin—the massive, destructive force of the Colossus Titan. It was like holding a sun in his hands, knowing that at any moment, it could expand and incinerate everything they had built.

Erwin broke the kiss, his hands moving to cup Levi’s face. His thumbs traced the dark circles under Levi’s eyes. "The Marleyan fleet will be arriving at the coast soon. My time as a double agent is drawing to a close. They expect the walls to fall, Levi. They expect me to be the one to kick the door down."

"Then we change the plan," Levi said, his voice hardening into the steel of a blade. "We don't follow Marley’s script, and we don't follow the King’s. We find another way."

Erwin sighed, a weary sound that betrayed the weight he carried. "There is no other way that doesn't end in fire. If I don't act, they will send others. Reiner, Annie, Bertholdt... they are children, but they are weapons. Marley does not accept failure."

"Then let them come," Levi spat. "I've spent my life killing monsters. I don't care if they're from across the ocean or from the pits of hell. If they try to take you, I’ll cut them down."

Erwin looked at him with a mixture of admiration and profound sadness. "You would fight the world for a lie?"

"You're not a lie," Levi said, his grip tightening on Erwin’s jacket. "The uniform is a lie. The mission is a lie. But this? This is the only thing that’s felt real since I left the mud of the Underground. You’re Erwin Smith, the man who gave me a reason to fight. I don't give a damn where you were born."

Erwin leaned his head against Levi’s shoulder, letting out a long, shaky breath. For a moment, the Commander of the Survey Corps disappeared, leaving only a man who was exhausted by the burden of his own existence.

"I sometimes dream of the sea," Erwin confessed, his voice muffled by Levi’s cravat. "In Marley, they tell us it’s a vast expanse of blue water that stretches to the edge of the world. I wanted to see it with you. Not as a conqueror, but just... as a man."

Levi closed his eyes, imagining the blue. He had never seen more than the grey stone and the green forests of the walls. "Then we’ll go. After we’ve killed every last person who tries to stop us, we’ll go find your ocean."

"It’s a beautiful thought," Erwin said, pulling back to look at Levi again. "But we both know how this story ends, Levi. A shifter’s life is short. Even if we win, I am a dying man."

"Don't talk like that," Levi snapped, a rare flash of emotion breaking through his calm. "I didn't save your life a dozen times just for you to give up because of some Marleyan curse. We’ll find a way to break that, too."

Erwin reached into his desk drawer, pulling out a small, silver locket. He pressed it into Levi’s palm. Inside was a small, hand-drawn map—not of the walls, but of a coastline far to the south, marked with Marleyan script.

"If things go wrong," Erwin said, his voice regaining its commanding edge, "take the scouts. Use the information in here. It details the Marleyan outposts and the weaknesses in their naval defenses. If I cannot lead you to the sea, I will at least give you the map to get there."

Levi looked at the locket and then back at Erwin. "You're talking like you're planning to die."

"I'm talking like a Commander who knows his enemy," Erwin replied. "And I'm talking like a man who loves you enough to ensure you survive the fallout of my choices."

Levi shoved the locket into his pocket, his expression returning to its usual stony mask. "I'm not taking your map, Erwin. You’re going to lead the way yourself. I’ll be right behind you, making sure no one sneaks up on your oversized ass."

Erwin laughed—a genuine, warm sound that felt out of place in the grim office. He leaned in, kissing Levi’s forehead. "You truly are a difficult man, Levi Ackerman."

"And you're a traitorous bastard," Levi muttered, though he leaned into the affection. "But you're my traitorous bastard."

The silence returned to the room, but it was no longer heavy with the secrets of the war. For a few hours, the world outside—the Titans, the Marleyan Empire, the impending doom of the Eldian race—didn't exist. There was only the heat of Erwin’s skin and the steady beat of a heart that belonged to a monster, loved by a man who had spent his life killing them.

As the candle flickered and died, plunging the office into darkness, Erwin whispered one last thing into the quiet. "The Colossus is a god of destruction, Levi. But when I’m with you, I feel human. Thank you for that."

Levi didn't answer with words. He simply tightened his hold, anchoring the tall man to the earth, refusing to let him drift away into the fires of the war that waited for them at dawn. They were two men standing on opposite sides of a history written in blood, holding onto each other as if they could stop the world from turning.

Outside, the wind howled through the battlements of Wall Rose, a reminder of the vast, cruel world that wanted them dead. But inside the locked office, there was a temporary peace—a fragile, forbidden sanctuary built on the impossible love between a humanity’s strongest soldier and the titan who was meant to destroy him.

"Sleep, Erwin," Levi murmured as the Commander’s breathing finally leveled out into the rhythm of slumber. "I’ve got the watch."

Levi stayed awake long after, watching the shadows dance on the walls. He thought about the sea, about the blue water Erwin had described, and about the blood that would inevitably be spilled to reach it. He knew the cost of their secret. He knew that one day, the world would demand a reckoning.

But as he felt the unnatural warmth of Erwin’s body against his, Levi decided that the world could wait. For now, the sun was held firmly in his hand, and he would not let it burn out until he was ready.