The melancholy of the idiot

The new Showgrounds castle was unusually quiet. Sunlight filtered through the stained-glass windows, casting colorful patterns across the floor, but the atmosphere inside was thick with a rare, heavy boredom. SMG4 was slumped on the sofa, staring blankly at his phone. Meggy was idly spinning a Splat-o-matic on her finger, her mind clearly elsewhere. Tari and Saiko were sitting near the kitchen, the former fidgeting with her robotic arm while the latter sharpened her hammer with a look of sheer apathy.

"Is it just me, or is it weirdly peaceful today?" SMG4 finally asked, breaking the silence.

"Mario’s at the spaghetti factory for a grand opening," SMG3 replied from his corner, not looking up from his notebook. "Apparently, he won a 'lifetime supply' contest. We have at least six hours of sanity left."

"I hate to admit it," Meggy sighed, leaning back, "but a break from the chaos is actually kind of nice. No explosions, no screaming, no spaghetti-related crimes. It’s... refreshing."

Bob and Boopkins were arguing over a manga near the television when the screen suddenly flickered to life. It wasn't the usual static or a broadcast of *The Wheel of Fortune*. Instead, a grainy, old-fashioned video file began to play.

"Hey, who turned the TV on?" Boopkins asked, tilting his head.

"Probably Mario trying to prank us from a distance," Saiko grunted. "Turn it off."

SMG4 picked up the remote and clicked the power button. Nothing happened. He clicked it again, harder. "The remote’s jammed. Wait, is that... Mario?"

The image sharpened. It showed a small, wooden house in a neighborhood that looked far more dilapidated than the Mushroom Kingdom. A toddler with a familiar red cap—far too large for his head—was sitting on a dirty rug, playing with a pair of wooden spoons. He looked innocent, his eyes sparkling with a purity that the gang hadn't seen in years.

"Aww, look at baby Mario!" Tari cooed, leaning in. "He was so cute."

"I didn't know he had home movies," Meggy said, her expression softening.

But the warmth in the room evaporated instantly as a heavy door slammed shut in the video. A towering shadow fell over the small child. Two figures—a man and a woman—strode into the frame. They didn't look like the whimsical characters of the Mushroom Kingdom. They looked tired, angry, and sharp-edged.

"You little brat!" the man screamed, his voice distorted by the old recording but dripping with venom. "I told you to stay in the corner! Look at this mess!"

The toddler shied away, dropping the spoons. "Sorry, Papa... Mario was just—"

A hand flew across the screen. The sound of the impact made everyone in the living room flinch. The small child was sent sprawling across the floor, sobbing instantly.

"Shut up!" the woman yelled, kicking a pile of toys toward him. "We work all day and come home to your pathetic whining? You’re a mistake, Mario. A useless, fat mistake."

The screen went black for a second before jumping forward in time. Mario was now perhaps seven or eight. He was huddled under a kitchen table, trying to eat a piece of dry bread. His father found him, dragging him out by the collar of his shirt. The "beating" that followed was not the slapstick violence the gang was used to. There were no cartoon stars or quick recoveries. It was cold, methodical, and brutal.

In the castle, the silence was deafening.

Tari covered her mouth, tears already welling in her eyes. Meggy’s grip on her weapon tightened until her knuckles turned white. SMG4 felt a cold stone settle in his stomach. He looked over at Luigi, expecting his brother to be as shocked as the rest of them.

Instead, Luigi was staring at his boots, his shoulders shaking. He wasn't looking at the screen. He was covering his ears.

"Luigi?" SMG4 whispered. "Did you... did you know?"

Luigi didn't look up. "I stayed in the basement," he choked out, his voice thin and broken. "They... they mostly ignored me. They said I was too pathetic to bother with. But Mario... Mario would always make noise on purpose. He’d break things or yell just so they’d come after him instead of me."

The video continued, a montage of misery spanning years. They saw Mario as a teenager, his eyes becoming duller, his smiles becoming more forced and frantic. They saw him being pushed down stairs, locked in closets, and told a thousand times a day that he was nothing. They saw him looking into a mirror, his face bruised, trying to practice a goofy laugh—the same laugh he used now—as if trying to convince himself he was happy.

As the years progressed, they saw the transition. They saw him arrive in the Mushroom Kingdom. They saw him meet SMG4. But instead of the joyful beginning SMG4 remembered, he saw it through a new lens. He saw a broken young man desperately clinging to a world of absurdity because the real world had tried to kill his spirit.

The video finally cut to black, leaving the gang in a dark room illuminated only by the glow of the standby light.

"Oh my god," Meggy whispered, a tear sliding down her cheek. "All those times I yelled at him... I called him a burden. I told him he was a nuisance."

"I’ve kicked him into the sun," Saiko said quietly, her usual bravado completely gone. "I thought... I thought he was just indestructible. I didn't think he actually felt..."

"We all treated him like a punching bag," SMG3 muttered, looking genuinely sick. "I mean, I'm a villain, but that... that was just cruel."

SMG4 stood up, pacing the room agitatedly. "He never said a word. Not once. He just takes it. We insult him, we beat him up for a joke, we leave him behind on adventures... and he just comes back the next day with a smile and a stupid joke."

"He doesn't know any other way to be," Luigi said, finally looking up. His eyes were red and puffy. "He thinks that’s what love is. He thinks he has to be the clown, or the victim, just to keep people around. He’s so scared of being alone that he’d rather be hated than ignored."

The weight of their collective guilt settled over them. They thought about the times they had lost their patience with his antics. They thought about the "stupid" things he did—things that, in hindsight, looked like desperate cries for attention or attempts to make people laugh so they wouldn't be angry.

"How is he not a villain?" Bob asked, his voice lacking its usual metallic rasp. "If that was my life, I would have burned the whole world down. I would have been way worse than any of the guys we've fought."

"Because he's Mario," Meggy said, wiping her eyes fiercely. "He’s the person who, despite everything, still wants everyone to be happy. He’s better than all of us."

Suddenly, the heavy front doors of the castle swung open with a resounding bang.

"IT’S-A MARIO TIME!"

Mario bounded into the room, covered in tomato sauce and bits of pepperoni. He was doing a clumsy somersault across the rug, knocking over a vase in the process. He popped up, his hat lopsided, a wide, toothy grin on his face.

"Hey, guys! You won't believe it! The factory let Mario swim in the sauce! I think I have a noodle stuck in my ear! Do you want to see? It’s-a very gross!"

Usually, this would be the moment where SMG4 would scream about the rug, or Meggy would groan about his hygiene, or Saiko would threaten to hammer him into the floor.

Instead, there was silence.

Mario’s grin faltered slightly. He looked around the room, his eyes darting from SMG4’s pale face to Meggy’s tear-stained cheeks. He stopped his fidgeting, his posture slumping just a fraction.

"Uh... oh no," Mario said, his voice dropping an octave, losing some of its forced cheer. "Did Mario do something wrong again? I’m sorry. I can go clean the rug. Don't be mad. I’ll go outside."

He started to back away, his hands held up defensively, a reflex none of them had noticed before. It was the movement of someone expecting a blow.

Tari was the first to move. She lunged forward, not with a reprimand, but with a crushing hug. She buried her face in his sauce-stained shirt.

"Whoa! Tari? You’re getting spaghetti on your coat!" Mario exclaimed, confused.

Then Meggy joined in, grabbing his arm and leaning her head against his shoulder. "I'm sorry, Mario," she whispered. "I'm so, so sorry."

SMG4 walked over, placing a hand on Mario’s other shoulder. He didn't say anything; he couldn't find the words that wouldn't sound hollow. He just squeezed.

Mario stood frozen in the middle of the group hug, looking completely bewildered. "Uh... is this a new game? Is there a hidden camera? Am I being pranked? Because if there’s a pie coming, I want to eat it, not wear it."

"No pie, Mario," SMG3 said, crossing his arms and looking away to hide his own watery eyes. "Just... stay put for a minute, you idiot."

Mario looked at Luigi, who was watching with a sad, knowing smile. Mario’s expression changed then. The "stupid" look faded, replaced by a brief flicker of profound, weary understanding. He realized they had seen. He realized the secret he had kept behind a wall of memes and pasta was out.

But instead of getting angry or crying, Mario simply let out a long, shaky breath. He relaxed into the embrace, his hands tentatively patting Tari’s back.

"It’s okay," Mario said softly, his voice sounding more like the man they had seen in the video than the character he played every day. "Mario’s used to it."

"You shouldn't have to be," Meggy sobbed.

Mario pulled back just enough to look them all in the eye. He adjusted his hat and gave them a small, genuine smile—not the exaggerated one, but a real one.

"Hey, don't be sad. If you’re sad, then who’s gonna make the stupid faces? Who’s gonna get kicked into the sun?" He poked SMG4 in the chest. "You guys are my family. The real one. The one that doesn't... you know."

He trailed off, his eyes momentarily drifting to the blank TV screen. He shook his head, the goofy persona snapping back into place like a mask.

"Anyway! Who wants to see the noodle in my ear? It’s-a shaped like a dinosaur!"

He began digging into his ear with a finger, making disgusting squelching noises. A few hours ago, they would have kicked him out. Now, they just watched him with a mixture of heartbreak and admiration.

"I want to see the dinosaur noodle, Mario," Boopkins said, wiping his nose and stepping forward.

"Me too," Tari sniffled.

As the gang gathered around their red-clad friend, listening to his nonsensical stories about the spaghetti factory, the atmosphere in the castle changed. The silence was gone, replaced by a warmth that hadn't been there before. They knew they couldn't undo the past, and they knew Mario would probably be back to his annoying self by dinner.

But as SMG4 watched Mario laugh—really laugh—he made a silent vow. From now on, they would be the shield Mario never had. They would be the home he had been searching for his entire life.

Mario was a lot of things: a moron, a glutton, a nuisance. But as he stood there, covered in sauce and surrounded by friends, they realized he was also the strongest person they knew.