Mully

The LEDs in the studio were set to a vibrant, neon green, casting a surreal glow over the desks of the five men. It was supposed to be a standard Tuesday afternoon for The Boys. They were huddled together, headsets on, recording yet another "Discord Memes" video for their millions of subscribers.

"Mully, you absolute idiot, look at the screen!" Josh Dub yelled, his voice cracking with laughter as he pointed at a particularly cursed image of a cat with human teeth.

"I am looking, Josh! It’s just not funny!" Mully retorted, leaning back in his gaming chair with a smug grin. "I’ve seen better memes in my grandma’s Facebook feed."

Narrator and Eddie were doubling over, while Juicy was busy making strange noises into his microphone. It was chaotic, loud, and perfectly normal—until it wasn’t.

Behind Mully’s chair, the air began to ripple like heat rising off a summer asphalt. It started as a tiny pinprick of violet light, but within seconds, it expanded into a swirling, jagged vortex of celestial energy.

Josh’s laughter died instantly. His eyes widened, his face draining of color as he stared at the space behind his friend. "Mully... Mully, don't move."

"What? You trying to jump-scare me again? It’s not gonna work, mate," Mully scoffed, refusing to turn around.

"Mully, I'm serious! Get up! Move!" Josh screamed, lunging across his desk to grab Mully’s arm.

He was a half-second too late. The vacuum of the portal roared with the sound of a thousand wind chimes, and with a violent *snap*, Mully and his chair were yanked backward into the abyss. The vortex collapsed instantly, leaving nothing behind but a lingering scent of ozone and four terrified YouTubers staring at an empty corner of the room.

***

Mully didn’t feel like he was falling. He felt like he had been shoved through a very tight, very cold tube of jelly. When his vision finally cleared, he wasn't in the neon-lit studio anymore.

He groaned, pushing himself up from a floor that felt suspiciously like polished silk wood. "Josh, if this is a prank, I'm going to kick your—"

He stopped. This wasn't the studio.

He was in a room that looked like it belonged in a high-end museum or a very expensive historical drama. The walls were adorned with intricate sliding paper doors—shoji, he thought they were called—and the air smelled of sandalwood and expensive tea. Soft, golden light filtered through the windows, illuminating dust motes dancing in the air.

"Where the hell am I?" Mully whispered, his hand instinctively reaching for his pocket. His phone was still there, but he didn't pull it out yet. He needed to find an exit.

He stumbled toward a set of large, ornate double doors at the end of the hallway. He pushed them open, expecting to see a hotel lobby or maybe a backyard. Instead, he walked into a massive, circular hall with a ceiling so high it was lost in shadow.

In the center of the room sat a long, curved table made of white stone that seemed to glow. Around it sat a group of people who looked like they had stepped out of a fantasy epic. Their clothes were vibrant, layered with silks, gold plating, and glowing gems.

Mully froze. He saw a woman with flowing white hair and eyes like ice, a small girl with green hair and leaf-like ears, and a tall, stoic man with amber eyes that seemed to hold the weight of the world.

There was a sign on the table, written in an elegant, flowing script that somehow he could understand: *The Archon Summit.*

Mully stood there, his mouth slightly agape. He looked down at his baggy hoodie, his wrinkled joggers, and his messy hair. He looked like a thumb compared to these living gods.

"Nope," Mully muttered to himself. "Absolutely not. I'm dreaming. I'm going back to bed."

He spun on his heel, intent on walking right back out the way he came.

"Stay your feet, traveler."

The voice was cold, sharp, and carried a weight that made the floor beneath Mully’s sneakers vibrate. He stopped mid-stride, his shoulders hunching up to his ears. Slowly, he turned back around.

Standing at the head of the table was a woman with long, braided purple hair that reached her waist. She wore an intricate kimono of violet and gold, and her eyes—a piercing shade of amethyst—were locked onto him with terrifying intensity. She held a hand near the hilt of a sword sheathed at her waist.

"The Raiden Shogun is speaking to you," the man with amber eyes said calmly, though his gaze was just as curious. "It is rare for one to stumble into the sanctuary of the Seven uninvited. Especially one dressed in such... peculiar attire."

Mully swallowed hard. "I, uh... I'm Mully. I was just looking for the bathroom?"

The Shogun stepped forward, her heels clicking rhythmically on the stone. She didn't look angry; she looked fascinated. She circled him like a predator examining a new species of prey. "Your essence is strange. You possess no Vision, yet you crossed the boundary between worlds. And your stature..."

She stopped in front of him, looking him up and down. To Mully’s surprise, the white-haired woman—the Tsaritsa—stood up as well, walking over to join the Shogun.

"He is quite... sturdy," the Tsaritsa remarked, her voice like cracking ice. She reached out, poking Mully’s bicep with a gloved finger. "Broad-shouldered. He lacks the refinement of our world, but there is a raw strength to his build."

"He looks like he could wrestle a Geovishap and win," the small green-haired girl, Nahida, added with a soft giggle.

Mully felt his face heating up. "Hey, watch the touchy-feely stuff, alright? I'm a professional."

Suddenly, his pocket began to vibrate violently. The familiar, frantic ringtone of a Discord mobile call echoed through the silent, divine hall. The Archons all recoiled slightly, their hands going to their weapons or elemental energies.

"What is that cursed wailing?" the Shogun demanded, her hand sparking with purple electricity.

"Wait, wait! It's just my phone!" Mully scrambled to pull the device out. He saw the group icon: *The Boys*.

He hit 'Accept' and turned the camera around, holding it out in front of him. Immediately, four tiny boxes appeared on the screen, showing the frantic faces of Josh, Eddie, Narrator, and Juicy.

"MULLY! MULLY, ARE YOU ALIVE?" Josh screamed, his face pressed so close to his webcam that his nose was distorted.

"Where the hell are you, mate? We saw a purple hole eat you!" Eddie yelled from his box.

"Is that a lady with a sword?" Juicy asked, his eyes widening as he spotted the Shogun in the background. "Mully, are you in an anime? Can you ask her if she has a sister?"

Mully cleared his throat, trying to regain some semblance of dignity in front of the literal gods staring at him. "Guys, shut up for a second. I'm... I think I'm in another world. These people say they're Archons."

"Archons?" Narrator leaned in, his voice dropping into his professional 'movie trailer' tone. "Mully, you’ve been transported to Teyvat. Do not, under any circumstances, provoke the Raiden Shogun. She will literally split you in half."

The Shogun leaned over Mully’s shoulder, her face appearing in the corner of the phone screen. She squinted at the tiny, moving images of the four men. "Who are these tiny spirits? Are they trapped within this glowing slate?"

"They're not spirits, they're my idiots," Mully sighed.

"Mully, are you okay?" Josh asked, his voice softening with genuine concern. "Do we need to call the police? Or a priest? Or... I don't know, a physicist?"

Mully looked at the Shogun, then at the Tsaritsa, who was now curiously poking at the screen of his phone. He looked at the table of gods who seemed more intrigued by his presence than threatened.

"I'm fine, Josh," Mully started, "I just—"

"He is perfectly well," the Shogun interrupted, her voice booming through the phone’s speakers and silencing the boys on the other end. She took the phone from Mully’s hand, holding it up as if she were addressing a nation. "This mortal is now under the observation of the Seven. He possesses a ruggedness that is... intriguing to us. We shall ensure his safety until we determine his purpose here."

"Wait, give that back!" Mully reached for the phone, but the Shogun held it just out of reach, her eyes shimmering with a playful, yet dangerous spark.

"He is quite fit for a mortal without a Vision," the Tsaritsa added, leaning into the frame of the video call. "Perhaps we shall keep him as a royal advisor. Or a bodyguard."

On the screen, Josh’s jaw dropped. "Mully is getting recruited by goddesses? This is the best content we’ve ever had! Keep recording, Mully! Don't you dare come back yet!"

"Josh, you traitor!" Mully yelled.

The Shogun looked down at Mully, a small, almost imperceptible smirk tugging at the corner of her lips. "Your friends are loud, Mully. But they seem to value you. Now, come. There is much to discuss, and you shall tell us of this 'YouTube' during our tea."

Mully looked at the phone, where the boys were now cheering and making jokes at his expense, and then at the circle of powerful deities waiting for him.

"I'm never going to hear the end of this," Mully muttered, following the Shogun back toward the table.

"Just make sure you get some footage of the dragons!" Juicy yelled through the phone before the Shogun accidentally pressed the 'end call' button with her thumb.

Silence returned to the hall, broken only by the soft hum of elemental energy. Mully sat down in a chair that felt like it was made of solid gold, flanked by the most powerful beings in the world, and realized that his Tuesday reaction video had just become a lot more complicated.